


Aches

by absesse (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, depression ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/absesse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I constantly take out my frustration on these two oops</p>
    </blockquote>





	Aches

**Author's Note:**

> I constantly take out my frustration on these two oops

They're not good together, not a healthy match. Harry's spent too long searching for approval to fill the gaping hole in his chest and Snape a bitter old man, whose love has long since dried up. Still in the hollow void that make up Severus's heart and Harry's bleeding soul they make each other happy. No, that's not quite right. Happy as normal people know it is joyous declarations of unyielding affection, or sweet kisses in early morning light. It's not so much happiness, but a way to stop the sinking feelings that inhabit their bodies. People say depression and sadness are purely mental; that those urges and thoughts are isolated in a broken mind. But there's the feeling of claws digging into sensitive flesh and a choking hold on your insides, and with each too tight grip, or too strong hit those sensations turn away to pain. Not the seemingly preferred method, but it works more than false happiness and isn't a dance with death like self mutilation. 

For the Saviour gasping for breath in the alotted moments that Snape's grip around his throat eases is much more preferable to not being able to choke in a full breath because of the imaginary hole in his chest. For Snape the attention of a desperate, naïve lover is better than paralyzing loneliness. 

They lose their burdens in each other. Harry wrapping scarred, gangly limbs around the body of the old Death Eater letting himself be used, and said Death Eater being used in return. Snape's a distraction of too painful memories and a source of biting criticism instead of praise; Harry's just a toy to be used, and yet not thrown away immediately after use. They're not in love, not really, but it's not an empty relationship. It's a codependency that has grown ivy around it, poison ivy. They're stuck together and they can't imagine a way apart. 

They're together more than is healthy, more than is normal. They're tangled up in each other, tangled in the way they feel together. Like when they're fighting and yelling getting closer, hot breaths landing on each others faces as they wheeze. When Harry's bend over the splintering wood of Severus's desk arching under the man's pistoning hips; they forget about everything beside one another. Snape forgets what the rest of the world feels like when he's buried inside the young body of his lover, and Harry forgets that the "pain" in his body will never truly cease. They dull each others hurt. Relieve the aches in one another.


End file.
